Baby Steps

I’m home.

Home is good.

In fact, home is wonderful.

I actually got home yesterday afternoon.

TPN free.

PICC free.

Antibiotic free.

Pain free. (Okay, still a bit of a sore throat, but other than that – nada!)

Discharged on a regular diet.

I’m about as weak as can be. I’m blown away at how little oomph I have.

I’m supposed to take it easy. But rest is hard for me to do, and I’m struggling a little bit with trying to figure out how to do it – practically.

I was up at a bit before 5am this morning. Still on hospital schedule. All morning I kept thinking, “I need to lie down and rest.” Why did it take me until I could literally barely put a foot in front of the other at 3pm to actually do that?

I’m a slow learner.

Because I’ve been on TPN my blood sugars dip a little too low if I don’t get enough to eat often enough.

The procedure they did last Thursday entailed cauterizing two fistulas so that they would collapse on themselves and seal off, then they did an accordion type fold of the tissue, so that the opening of the fistulas wouldn’t be open to ingested food/fluids and fixed into place with a stay of some sort. Then the TWO leaks that they found were then sutured. Effectively – hopefully – ending the communication between the stomach and the abdominal cavity.

In practical reality, my stomach is tender and needs time to heal – but they want me on a regular diet – to make sure it’s gonna hold and work. I’m not pushing it, of course – going slowly and carefully. But eating is about the same as being a brand new baby post-op. Only I gotta eat more frequently. Calories have to go in more like hourly.

There are some glorious things I’ve done today.

I took the longest most glorious shower – no worries about keeping PICC site dry.

I shaved my pits! It’s been AGES! When you have a PICC line and have to keep it dry while you’re in the shower, it’s pretty much impossible to shave your pits. I’ve whined before about pits – see here. But you know what – you just pull up your big girl panties and work through!

And I shaved my legs. Which is good – since the hair there was nearly long enough to braid.

I puttered around the garden, sat and watched the chickens, and soaked up some sun.

I puttered around the house some.

I took about half of my vitamins – not bad for the first day back at it.

I struggled – however – with the knowing that I should go rest, but seeing all that I “ought” to do.

I’ve got to learn how to put on blinders.

Today I have my first pain. A bit of a pain in my left shoulder. It’s got me a little scared. So I’m going to work harder at scheduling – and actually – resting.

Tonight I’m laying low.

Stuff will go undone.

I’ll have to get over it.

Praying that the fix has really done the trick and complete restoration is just around the corner.

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